


Making Amends

by janne_d



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Aliens Make Them Do It, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-18
Updated: 2006-06-18
Packaged: 2017-10-05 15:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janne_d/pseuds/janne_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Defiler," the man hissed and John automatically checked that Rodney wasn't talking, touching anything or accidentally sitting on something sacred.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Amends

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a birthday present for torakowalski.

"So what exactly happened on M5X-9PF, Colonel?" Elizabeth asked leaning forward over the briefing room table.

"Natives with weird weapons and very touchy natures that we managed to totally offend. The usual," John said with a shrug, carefully not looking at Rodney.

~~~

_"Hey, whoa, what's the matter?" John said as the Headman's expression suddenly changed from caution to fury._

"Defiler," the man hissed and John automatically checked that Rodney wasn't talking, touching anything or accidentally sitting on something sacred. But Rodney was standing just behind John's shoulder and looking as confused as John felt.

~~~

"And just how did we manage to offend _this_ race?" Elizabeth sighed.

"Hey, why are you looking at me?" Rodney protested. "I didn't do a thing, it was Ronon's fault."

~~~

_The headman was pointing at Ronon, a couple of steps back from John. He wasn't defiling anything as far as John could tell and he gave a baffled shrug in response to John's look._

"We apologise if we have offended you," Teyla said in her best placating tone and John nodded vigorously. John had no desire to flee for his life again, it was far too hot, and he had no wish to get into a fight either. He didn't like the way the other Penggs were starting to mutter and shift in the background though.

"Offended?" the Headman screamed. "He has desecrated the Gods!"

~~~

"McKay, any one of us could have done the same," John pointed out.

"Indeed," Teyla agreed. "Ronon was simply unfortunate. It appears that the Pengg people believe the kratas berries to be the food of the Gods."

"And Ronon was hoarding some in his pockets for a snack, you know how he is about food, he's a stomach on legs," Rodney sniffed and John couldn't help muttering about pots and kettles and then pretended he was completely focused on Elizabeth when Rodney glared at him. "As I was saying, Ronon chowed down on a handful, the Penggs freaked…"

"And that's when the weapons came out," John added.

~~~

_"I don't understand," Teyla said, still calm but casting just as many looks at the people starting to surround them as John was._

"Ronon, what did you do?" John snapped, tensing ready for action and seeing Rodney shift position nervously out of the corner of his eye.

"He dared to eat the God-fruit," the Headman shouted and there was a growl from the crowd of villagers.

"**Ronon**?"

"I had some kratas left from lunch," Ronon admitted. "I got hungry."

"Hear, all, he admits his trespass," said the Headman and suddenly everyone in the village seemed to be holding a weapon and looking homicidal.

~~~

"What kind of weapons? I thought that they didn't have much technology," Elizabeth said.

"They don't, they are a completely basic society, pre-industrial revolution in every respect except religion, where they are apparently still in the caveman era," Rodney said.

"They had a large variety of farming implements," Teyla explained.

"Right," Elizabeth said, sounding less than impressed.

"Huge scythes," John added. "Extremely sharp sickles, pitchforks and some really, really big knives." Not that those had been the real danger, but still. Not a nice thing to face.

~~~

_"Look, you don't want to do this," John said, bringing up his P-90. "It could get really messy and bad." Not least because **everyone** in the village was all weaponed-up, the women and some of the older children as well as the men and they all had that fanatical I-will-die-for-my-God look that said scaring them off wasn't going to be an option. Bad, bad, **bad** situation._

"It was a mistake," Ronon said and John could hear that he was just as unhappy with things as John was. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Right, right," Rodney said and when John stole a glance he had his sidearm out but he was looking around with a sick expression and John knew he was probably mirroring it because the Headman's seven-year old son was still leaning against his father's leg and watching them from big eyes. "He didn't know. Surely that counts? Your Gods have to forgive ignorance; I mean if they were really that bothered about the fruit they could have put a sign on them or something?"

"Please, we wish only to be your friends, isn't there a way we can make amends…" Teyla began and then there was a nasty airy whistling sound followed by a groan and a thump from behind and John shot a look over his shoulder to see Ronon shuddering on the ground with a feathered dart in his neck.

~~~

"And then they shot Ronon," Teyla said.

"With a dart fired from some sort of bendy stick thing," John added when Elizabeth looked confused.

"It's called an atlatl on Earth, though those were bigger I think. Like a slingshot only different," said Rodney.

~~~

_"Shit," Rodney said and dropped down beside him as John twisted back._

"What have you done to him?" he yelled.

"It is jens poison. He must pay the price," the Headman said, infuriatingly calm now and John's hands tightened on his P-90.

"He's still breathing," Rodney said, "but he's unconscious and really hot, and…" and then he broke off with a yelp and he was dragged past John by two very burly men with large knives.

"You cannot help him. His life is forfeit and the Gods will claim him soon," the Headman said, and John looked around frantically, wondering how things had got so fucked so quickly. "Give us your weapons."

No. No way, he had to do something, had to help Ronon and get Rodney back safe instead of standing with a knife at his throat. "Colonel," Teyla said sounding desperate as the villagers started to close in on them, and he saw now some of them were carrying babies on their backs and oh God, he couldn't, he couldn't.

"Do as he says," John choked out and he handed over his P-90 and let himself be searched for more weapons and then pushed to his knees when they'd removed his sidearm and knives as well.

~~~

"There was a slow acting poison on the dart," Teyla continued. "We tried to help him, but…"

"We were surrounded," John said flatly. "Women and children everywhere, more darts ready for us and pointy sharp things all around. We had to surrender."

~~~

_John, Rodney and Teyla knelt in a line in the centre of what the Headman called the Sacred Grove, a carefully tended glade partway into the forest. They had been taken there from the village and Ronon had been placed in front of them, breathing raspy and with a sheen of sweat over his face. Several of the larger villagers were in a rough circle around them, still armed and watching intently._

"This is a nightmare," Rodney muttered.

"I know," John said, helpless and furious and hating the whole stupid planet.

"They said it was slow, right? Maybe we'll miss our check-in and they'll send another team for us in time."

"I have heard of the poison. I believe it takes less than half a day before the victim dies," Teyla said quietly.

"They're not expecting us back until tonight," John said. "Any rescue will be too late."

"Ronon's freakishly strong though. Maybe he can hold out. Teyla, is there an antidote?"

"I do not know. I never heard if anyone survived."

"But Beckett could figure it out, work his black art," Rodney said. John couldn't take his uncharacteristic optimism any longer, not with Ronon lying there, and he turned to snarl him into silence. But Rodney's eyes were bleak and John realised he didn't believe what he was saying, he just couldn't admit that there was nothing to be done anymore than John could.

He couldn't stop thinking about it though, wondering if maybe their doctors **could** save Ronon.

~~~

"But they didn't harm the rest of you?" Elizabeth asked.

"No," Teyla said. "Their religion is very strict but not… unfair."

"They wanted us to watch him die and then they would have let us go," Rodney said, sounding subdued as he remembered.

"I see," Elizabeth said, sounding shaken.

~~~

_"Teyla, do you think they would let us take him home?" John asked after staring blankly at the ground for a moment._

"I hope so. I do not believe he would wish to lie here, so far from his friends," Teyla said bleakly. She had her head bowed and John had heard her whispering Athosian prayers every so often.

"No, I mean, **before** he dies."

"Oh," she said softly. "I will try," and John tried to tamp down on the little flicker of hope even as Rodney caught his breath and nodded frantically next to him.

~~~

"We hoped that if we got him back here alive, the docs would be able to find a cure," John said.

"I asked them to let us bring him home to die. I told them that he needed to be with his family. They were reluctant initially," added Teyla.

~~~

_"No," the Headman said coldly. "He must die here. The Gods will receive his sacrifice from the Grove."_

"Please, cannot you find the mercy to let his family bid him farewell?" Teyla pleaded. "He has a wife, and children. No older than your own son. Would you not wish him to able to say goodbye to you when your time comes?"

The Headman's eyes softened slightly and some of the villagers looked moved, and John blinked once in admiration of Teyla's ability to lie with a straight face and poked Rodney surreptitiously to stop him gaping.

"Surely your Gods are powerful enough to receive his sacrifice from anywhere?" she went on. "Please, I beg of you, let us take him home."

~~~

"They eventually agreed that we could remove him from their Sacred Grove if we performed one of their lesser rituals of expiation as a proxy for Ronon," Teyla said.

"What was the ritual?" Elizabeth asked, as curious as ever about other people's customs.

John opened his mouth to head her off then realised he had no idea what to say so he ended up looking with great concentration at the table instead.

"Nothing of consequence," Rodney said dismissively. "We… burnt some of Ronon's hair, said some prayers and they let us bring him back." Rodney was a little flushed when John looked up but Elizabeth didn't seem to notice and then Rodney caught John's eye and he looked away again.

"I was relieved that it was so simple," Teyla said. "I was worried about what they would require from us," and when John raised his eyes again she gave him an understanding smile.

~~~

_"There is a lesser sacrifice that someone can make in the Grove," the Headman finally said and John blew out a breath. "He cannot make it himself now, but the Gods have allowed it to be made on someone's behalf before."_

"And if we do this, we may take him?" Teyla asked, hope clear in her voice.

"It is only required of one of you. It would usually be family but…You are his leader," the Headman said, looking at John. "The responsibility is yours," and John nodded. Finally, something he could do.

"It is agreed. You will give up your essence to the Grove in exchange for your warrior."

"Wait, what does that mean, his essence?" Rodney interrupted, sounding worried and John was getting visions of pools of blood himself.

"He must spill his seed on the ground of the Grove," the Headman replied. "We will witness the sacrifice after the prayer of offering."

"Oh, okay," Rodney said, sounding like that was totally reasonable while John blinked at the Headman in dread.

"Well, that's a lot easier than I was expecting," Rodney said as the Headman and the rest of the villagers started to chant.

"Easy," John repeated, not quite able to keep an edge out of his voice. "Right. Nothing to it."

"What? It's simple, you jerk off, we all go home, Ronon maybe doesn't die, we all have cake."

"It's not simple," John hissed, aware of Teyla listening with concern on his other side. "I don't know… I'm not sure I can!"

"Oh please. It's not like you've never done it before," Rodney scoffed. "Okay, there's a little more pressure than is normal…"

"A little?"

"… but you're like the horndog of the Pegasus galaxy, I'm sure you'll manage. Just think about getting all glowy with that hussy Chaya or something."

"Rodney, I mean it. I don't. I'm not. I don't like being watched, okay? It makes me really uncomfortable," John said, squirming just at the thought.

"Are you serious?" Rodney gaped. "But you're all flirty and popular and, and hot!"

"I just don't like it, all right?" John said, glaring at him and starting to lose his temper from embarrassment and nerves. "Jesus, it takes me weeks with someone new before I can have sex with the lights on, never mind having an audience!" he said jerking his head to indicate the still-chanting villagers.

The chanting abruptly stopped and John jumped at the silence. Shit. He had to do this, Ronon was counting on him. He couldn't let him down. He rubbed sweating hands on his legs and swallowed hard, trying to ignore the Mothra-sized butterflies in his stomach.

"I will not watch. You have my word," Teyla said softly and John nodded, hoping she would understand he was grateful without him having to say it. Or make eye contact.

The Headman turned towards John and he found himself looking a little desperately at Rodney, though for what he wasn't quite sure.

"You'll be fine," Rodney whispered quickly. "Just. Just keep your eyes closed and pretend, okay?"

"It is time. Kneel beside the defiler and place your hand on his heart so the Gods know of your connection," the Headman said.

John clenched his fists then forced himself to move, kneeling on Ronon's right side so they faced the same direction and placing his left hand lightly on Ronon's chest.

"Okay," he said and screwed his eyes tightly shut.

He could do this. He could.

~~~

"I suppose we have to cross another planet off the list of places we are welcome then," Elizabeth said with a sigh.

"I do not believe that is necessary," Teyla disagreed. "We did not part as enemies and I feel that overall they were pleased with our conduct. They even helped us carry Ronon back to the Stargate. We would have to be careful on any future visits, of course, and Ronon can obviously never go there again, but I think we will be able to establish enough trust to trade with them in the future."

"All right. I'll consider sending another team there in a few months to test the waters," Elizabeth said. "Well done, all of you, for turning such a difficult situation around so successfully. And I won't keep you from the infirmary any longer," she added with a smile, "I know you are all anxious to get back there."

"Indeed," Teyla said. "Dr. Beckett said that Ronon would likely awake soon, but it will be good to see it for ourselves."

John just nodded as he left, moving quickly enough to stay just ahead of Rodney in the corridors and then they were crowded round Ronon's bed and getting in the way of the nurses.

He settled into a chair to wait and pretended he didn't see the glances Rodney was throwing his way, just like he'd ignored them earlier when they had been waiting for Beckett's verdict.

He knew Rodney wanted to talk about it. He had started to say something a couple of times but John had cut him off or pretended he didn't hear because he really, really didn't want to talk about it. Ever.

~~~

_John sat frozen in place for a long moment, trying to calm his breathing and think himself somewhere else, somewhere safe like the puddlejumpers. He had it eventually, telling himself over and over that he was alone and horny, and he quickly moved his right hand in and started undoing his belt then the fly button then he drew the zip down, concentrating just on that and nothing else._

He slid his hand inside his clothes and stroked his lower stomach soothingly, making sure only to think about how it felt until it started to feel better than just soothing. But then he made himself move again and pull his cock out of his pants and there was this … murmur of voices that broke the spell and before he could stop it, John's eyes flew open and he saw people, strangers, around him, looking at him sitting there exposed, watching him touch himself…

He slammed his eyes shut again, feeling heat wash over his face as he struggled to breathe and it was only feeling Ronon's heart beating too fast under his palm that kept him from covering himself right back up and fleeing.

He'd lost the good feeling completely and he didn't think he could get it back, but he had to do this, had to get Ronon home, so John bit his lip, ducked his head down and forced his hand to move, slide up and down until pure physical stimulus had made him harden.

But there was no pleasure in it, and John was starting to panic because he needed to come for the fucking stupid ritual and there was no way he could like this, it was too mechanical and he could **feel** the eyes on him and he hated it. His muscles were knotting all over with tension, his breath was hitching out of control and he froze again because he was going to fail, he couldn't do it.

Then he jumped with shock as he felt something warm settle alongside his legs and something clasp his shoulder and John jerked his head to the side and found Rodney had moved to kneel beside him, facing him but all his attention on the hand that was gently kneading John's shoulder.

"Close your eyes, breathe and relax," Rodney whispered. He closed his own eyes and John looked at his lashes, the curves of his cheeks while he steadied his breathing and then copied him, retreating back into the dark. "It's okay," Rodney whispered again after a minute. "There's nobody here but me, and I'm not looking."

"Yeah, okay," John breathed back.

It helped, Rodney anchoring him, pushed back the panic and helped him shut the situation out. He started moving his hand and realised he was echoing the rhythm Rodney was setting on his shoulder, but it was starting to feel good again and maybe he was going to get through this after all.

~~~

Ronon woke up after a few more hours, looking none the worse for wear though a little dazed. He nodded and said thanks when they told him how they'd got him back to the infirmary – the same version as Elizabeth got, though John had a feeling Teyla would fill Ronon in once he was somewhere more private. John was a little uncomfortable about that idea but secrets were hard to keep in a team like theirs and he trusted her not to give any details.

They were shooed out of the infirmary after a while so that Beckett could run some more tests and make sure Ronon was really okay.

"Right then," John said brightly once they were in the corridor. "Guess I'll go get started on the report."

"Sheppard, wait up," Rodney called after him but John kept walking and pretended he didn't hear. Luckily Lorne was already in the office that they shared doing some of the never-ending paperwork, and John knew Rodney wouldn't say anything in front of the other man. He was right, when Rodney arrived about ten seconds after John he simply glared and informed John he would see him later.

Though not if John had anything to say about it. He was sure he could avoid Rodney long enough for this to go away if he really tried.

~~~

_John was sweating soon, left hand clenched into Ronon's shirt, desperate to get this over with and straining after a climax that kept sliding out of his reach. He knew that getting desperate wasn't helping any but he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep it together and do this._

Physically it was working okay now, not feeling amazing but good enough that his cock was throbbing with it and he needed to come. Only every time he got close, felt the pleasure rising up, he'd remember the people watching him or that Ronon could die if he didn't and it would slip away again. He tried harder, faster strokes but it didn't work and he couldn't keep the pace up for long and then he tried slower and soft over his most sensitive spots, but it was just the same.

He shook with frustration and despair, caught his breath in a sob and felt Rodney's hand bite into his shoulder at the sound. "John?" he whispered.

"Oh God, I can't I can't," John got out, burning with failure.

There was the briefest hesitation and then Rodney shifted next to him, caught at the back of John's neck and pulled him in so his face was pressed into Rodney's shoulder. He felt Rodney's other arm go around his back and Rodney was whispering "Shh, it's all right," and John was hidden and enclosed and he gasped in relief.

"Let me help," Rodney said and his hand wrapped around John's cock and John jumped, but it felt good, better, and he let go and relaxed into Rodney's shoulder.

Suddenly it wasn't mechanical or desperate anymore and instead of wishing it was over with every touch John was beginning to want more. Rodney really knew what he was doing, every stroke just right and twisting pleasure inside John until he'd forgotten all about the Grove and the ritual and he was clutching at Rodney's arm and muffling gasps into Rodney's uniform as his hips lifted helplessly. When Rodney's thumb slid teasingly over the head and then rubbed at just the right spot on the underside of John's cock, he choked out an "Ah" and came at last, shaking into little bits all at once and then going limp with relief and release in Rodney's arms.

When John regained enough wits to raise his head, Rodney was still cradling John's cock protectively in his hand and stroking the other hand gently up and down John's back and John just looked into his eyes, feeling too open and unsettled to think anything other than he wished he could stay like this and never move again. He leaned in a little, wanting to get closer but the concern and affection he could see in Rodney's eyes was turning into realisation and John suddenly felt like he'd given something away and pulled back.

When he looked away, all he could see were the villagers still watching him and smiling as the Headman nodded and he jerked away from Rodney, catching his balance with the hand still on Ronon and then stared at the ground while he did up his pants as fast as he could.

"It is done," said the Headman. "You may take him and go."

John nodded and shoved himself off the ground. "You heard the man," he said and then cleared his throat to get rid of the roughness in his voice. "Let's go," and he moved to start getting Ronon off the ground and avoided Rodney's eyes the whole time.

~~~

John hid in the office until well after dinner time had passed and then made his way back to his room. He shrugged his jacket off as he went in and then stopped, seeing Rodney sitting on his bed.

"Rodney?" he said as the door slid closed behind him.

"John," Rodney replied and John swallowed, because since when had Rodney used his first name?

"I, uh, really don't want to talk about anything," John said, embarrassed to realise he was clutching his jacket in front of him like a shield but not able to let it go.

"Neither do I," Rodney said and moved to stand right in front of John. John blinked at him when Rodney's hand moved up to cup the side of his face but the intent look on Rodney's face held him in place.

And then the lights all went out and Rodney was kissing him and John gasped into Rodney's mouth, the jacket dropped forgotten to the floor, and Rodney's arms wrapped around John in the dark and held him close and he let everything else fall away.


End file.
